Conflicted

He burped as the bomb exploded
Inside our TV set.
A lifetime ago-
But our hearts still beat faster for them.
I moaned as the wounded groaned.

As a pacifist
I always saw the enemy as an imagined one;
A friend
That’s found himself on the other side of the battlefield.
Like the man on the other side of my sofa –
We were supposed to be allies.

Soldiers sleeping in trenches, cold and anxious,
Companions keeping watch.
Warm in bed I asked for companionship,
Again.
Rejection answered;
No more cuddles for Lieutenant Snuggs.

In a silent war cry I moved away;
The inch between our naked skin
A vast no man’s land.
I felt him listening for clues
As I tried not to give away my breath-
Tried not to exist.

An attempt to make peace was requested –
But I resisted;
Stood my ground, gave no tribute.
I declined and ordered us to sleep.
Truce. No instant gratification;
A dangerous kind of peace.

I lie here with a deathly silence deafening me,
Keeping out watch for further threat
To my ego.
All is fair in love and war.

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